One of my flaws is that I am hyper-sensitive on my birthday. Christmas is awesome, anniversaries are great, but there's just something about my birthday that makes me feel super special.
Unfortunately, sometimes the whole world is just not on board for my special day, and I've had some pretty downer birthdays where it just didn't seem like anyone really cared. I know everyone has their own lives to live, but I guess I see my birthday as a window to my world. If no one seems to care, then to me it's like...no one cares.
Yes, I know that's completely over-reactive, and usually I blow off the antics (or non-antics) of the absolutely adored and loved, if not flaky, stars in my universe, but is it in the rulebook that I can't be critical on MY day?
Well, there's really no choice in the matter - but I'm w-o-r-k-i-n-g on it.
BUT, the good news is that after having a really bizarre (and not in a good way) birthday last year (although I have to admit, my H really pulled out all the stops and saved the whole thing for me), this year seems to be looking pretty great!
(What happened last year? Well, one example is I won an art show! Awesome! Got ready to go the awards ceremony, pick up my prize, get some glory, and I'll be damned if some nut job didn't call in a bomb threat. Argh! Not on my day!! Yes. True story. Gallery got shut down, no glory, but I still got my prize. Other negativity abounded, but I'm over it and still love those who wrecked it for me.)
So, needless to say, as Barbi-Gras *wink* approaches, I'm always a little cautiously excited about what the day will bring.
Having said that, I must add that this year is already looking pretty great! (Insert collective sigh of relief here) Barbi-Gras isn't quite here yet, but I've already gotten a few cards, emails, birthday mentions in phone calls, some nice gifts, and I just won an art show. I was taken to an awesome pre-birthday birthday dinner at Morton's, The Steakhouse, got a lovely, and very unusual looking orchid, and H has, once again, outdone himself and made reservations for us at a very cool restaurant on the beach in Malibu.
So, as Barbi-Gras comes and goes for another year, I am feeling happy, validated, quite special, and at peace.